48 hours have passed. What do I feel now? Literally broken and almost in the verge of falling. It may sounds serious, but I do feel that quite often these days. "Where is she? What is she doing? How is she? Did she smile today? Did she fall today?", these questions and many more occupied my mind more often these days, too often perhaps. More than it did before. I often muttered the same question before but not until it haunts me. Right to the point where I can't get my mind off it. Sucks isn't it. I have to live with that very problem. At least until i can finally get over it or found a solution to those problems. Which might take a long time
- Happy a bit
- a bit relieved
Mix of emotions; yeap. That's the best word for my list of moods today. I went out with my friends. Well, I go out with them almost every freaking day but today, it was quite different. For once, it was a bigger crowd. How I miss them. Where we went to, it's not that important. What we do, pretty much useless either. But all and all, I'm grateful though. Even if it's only momentarily, I was able to swerve my attention away from my thoughts, my doubts, my source of confusion. So, to sum it all up, the gathering of emotions, the gathering of people, all that occured today, really do affect what I feel. But all that I did today won't really affect what I do tomorrow
Some random quotes and lyrics for the day;
"Taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side and balancing the whole thing.
But often times those words get tangled up in lines and the bright lights turn to night,
until the dawn it brings another day to sing about the magic that was you and me"
Jason Mraz; Waiting For My Rocket to Come; You and I Both; 2002
Jason Mraz - You and I Both
"Didn't understand what to see
Yeah, then I got a different view
Julian Casablancas; The Strokes; Room On Fire; Automatic Stop; 2003
The Strokes - Automatic Stop
"I wish to see the truth shines brightly in your eyes,
it's even for you, even for me, just try to understand"
Myo; Oh Chentaku; Heartbrake Ridge Was Never This Arrogant; Polaroid; 2008
Oh Chentaku - Polaroid
"The heart unites whatever the mind separates, pushes on beyond the arena of necessity and transmutes the struggle into love."
"The more I try to wake myself up, the more I'm losing myself. Maybe if I dont force it (waking up), I really do lose everything that's important to me."
Myself; just now; talking to Zul