Empirical Formula

Dear readers,

After a certain period of hiatus, I'm back here writing, scribbling random words.
4 months have passed since I started my college life and to sum it all up in a few hundreds or maybe thousand words would be an impossible thing to do. Each day is like a brand new adventure for me.
New reason to smile, new reason to cry, new reason to be angry, new reason to be happy, new reason to hate and most importantly, new reason to love.

"It's something unpredictable but in the end it's right I hope (you) have the time of your life"
; Billie Joe Armstrong.

Everything that has happened, it's beyond my predictability and sometimes even above my comprehension, but it's just meant to be.

People come and go in my life. Less than a week ago, we saw the departure of Adib "Monster" Danial. Even the Monster have to accept the fact that life is playing a joke on us all. When we see our path going straight all the way, there will be an obstacle on the road that might stray us from our ongoing journey and set ourselves on a new direction. And now, he's already gone. Leading a new life different from us all, he'll be. In his best of luck we all wish him.

There's something else I would like to add but it's not the right moment for me to include it here now. Maybe later I will.

Till then, cheers.

the arrival of the 31st

MERDEKA
MERDEKA
MERDEKA
MERDEKA
MERDEKA
MERDEKA
MERDEKA

Despite what other people said, i do love being a Malaysian, and today is our independence day. Time is harsh right now. Unity, the sole reason of our existance, is being shaken quite sternly. I do hope that we, as Malaysian, unite without considering our background or history. The past is only as good as it had been, but the present and the future, it can always be greater.

I love you, Malaysia. Had and will always been.

The Closure; Goodbye KL

Tonight is my last night here in KL. Mix emotions people. Well, not really, but yeah, i'm so gonna miss KL. Maybe alot.

I'll miss the places, the foods, and most importantly, the people. Those people that i care about. I'm gonna miss them all right. I've met almost everyone that I held in high regard. Those who I didn't meet, I wish the best for all of them. I'll be back for you guys soon. When i'm back, let's do something stupid again. I know you all gonna love it.

Below are the names of those who means alot to me that i'm surely gonna miss:

1. Razi Rosli
2. Atiqa Azmi
3. Hariz Shamsurizal
4. Zulhelmi Zulkarnain
5. Zharif Adam
6. Fadzli Dzahrine
7. Rusydi Tukiman
8. Khairi Md. Yasin
9. Afifuddin Zulkifli
10. Afiq Fauzi
11. Mhthesvaran
12. Atiqah Johari
13. Fatin Athira
14. Meyra Panda
15. Amira Filzah
16. Afiqah Mohizan
17. Engku Sofea
18. Nadira
19. Namira
20. Aina Natasya
21. Farah Aziz
22. Farina Hazlin
23. Mohd Zubair
24. Ahmad Hafizuddin
25. Najeeb Ali
26. Khairul Hazwan
27. Mohd Akid
28. Amirah Fauzi
29. Ariff Masrom
30. Ismail Abdullah
31. Amiera
32. Aryna

and then, there's you, whoever you are, just leave me your name here.
I could elaborate about each of the person here in more than a thousand words but one phrase is enough for all of you. Love you all and take care

*Harith and Adib, nama korang takda pasal aku still akan jumpa korang lagi nanti.

GOODBYE KL. and HELLO MELAKA. I'M A UNIVERSITY STUDENT NOW, BISH :)

A University Student

Scene Two; Pantas & Garang

Scene Two;

First thing that will come to everyone's mind is, WTF is this guy talking about. Well, here's the deal. Today, I went to the movies. Normal much. I watched Fast & Furious. So like, when the title screen popped out, there's the subtitle. I don't know whether it's the standard procedure or what but is it the norm to directly translate everything. So next time you go out for a movie, tell your friends about the subtitled name instead. Like today, I catched "Pantas & Garang" at the cinema instead of "Fast & Furious". Absurdity max. Who would translate the title man. That's just plain dumb. A friend of mine, let's call him Z shall we, said that, similar case have occured before when he watched a movie at the cinema. The movie was supposed to be "Ghost Rider" but those brilliat translators named the movie "Hantu Rempit". Like what the hell man. That's not even fitting for the movie no matter how badass the movie is. Dah la hantu, then rempit, what the hell. It's like a movie about a rempit who died in an accident being resurrected as a flaming skeleton who challenged all other rempit out there. Think for once, for god sake.

Here are some titles or what-if titles that would be utter ridiculous if there were ever subbed;
1. Lelaki X (X-Men) - instead of a movie about mutants, it's more about some revolutionaire
2. Susah Mati (Die Hard) - Well, it's just sound stupid
3. Susah Mati 2; Lagi Susah Mati (Die Hard 2; Die Harder) - Just when you don't think it'll get stupider
4. Hidup Bebas Atau Susah Mati (Live Free or Die Hard) - Now, it sounds like a political statement
5. Tuan Kepada Cincin; Pengikut Cincin (Lord of the Rings; Fellowship of the Ring) - Like some nutjob who worship a ring
6. Tuan Kepada Cincin; Dua Menara (The Two Towers) - Now, it's a movie about a couple getting married on top of the KLCC

now, here's some more stupid translatation to a character's name;
1. Benda itu (The Thing) - such an embarassing name indeed. no wonder he don't want to be called that name
2. Luke Pejalanangkasa (Luke Skywalker) - Such an inspiring name indeed
3. Besi Berani-o (Magneto) - Dude sound like a retard shit or something
4. Jejaka Hebat (Superman) - With such name, no wonder everyone is scared of him. Gay.
5. Pelawak (Joker) - The only feeling that the audience will feel is confused and a feel of being rip-off. It's like watching raja lawak. damn.

So like yeah, humor much. That's all the humor that I could spare to you, dear readers. Maybe when i can think of any other absurd name, i might put it somewhere.

To sum it all up, Fast & Furious 4, amidst the negative reviews, is actually quite an interesting movie. Though, more racing and less drama is needed in that movie. There's only one "real" racing scene and nothing else. That's like eating a steak without a meat. The gravy is still good, but come on, we want to eat the goddamn meat. There's a few plotholes too. From the scale of 1 to 10, i gave the movie a mediocre 5. It's not that good, but at least, it's a bit entertaining all right


Current Mood;
- Sleepy
- Entertained
- Freaky
- Pantas (:P)
- Garang (:P)

Oh, and as an update about what's inside here. Things have changed a bit. I'm still the same character but I'm dealing with a different kind of situation right now. Waiting. That's all that i could say. Whether I'll win in the end or I'll crumble and fall, I let the event unfold itself later.

(No song and quote of the day)

Goodbye and Goodnight :)

Scene One; Spaceman in the Sky

Scene One;

"Are we alone?" "Are they really out there?" "
Today, I feel like I've been called to talk about the greater force that exist out there. Forces that are way beyond our understanding, beyond our comprehension. And most importantly, beyond our control. To make it short, does alien even exist? Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know. No one can say that for sure. The universe is such a big place. Who are we to say that we are alone. It's not like the whole universe is ours for the taking. It's a big, big place. Very big. And when it's big, there's a reason for it. You don't make a big house just to have one person living in it now, would you.

When we talk about humanity as a whole, we tend to overlook the fact that we are a stubborn race of creatures. We refuse to have our rights taken, to have ourselves underestimated, and to remind ourselves just how frail and small we are compared to mother nature. That is our main weakness. I always believe that everyone have their own weakness for a reason. A purpose. To discover that purpose is to discover our purpose of existence. I used to believe that whatever happened around me is something that was meant to happen, no causes and effects. But now, I know, there's always an event that would build itself up to cause something to happen and after that very incident occur, there's always another chain of events that would unfold itself little by little. All that has happened would open up a path that eventually lead us to where we are today.

Current Mood;
- Bored
- Empty (it has always been)
- Tired
- Hopeful
- Skanky

As argumentative as it may sounds, I tend to believe in the part where all that has happened would never really affect what I'll do. To me, life as a whole is a series of chain of reaction. We replicate the events that was done earlier by others. The difference being our way of playing back the situation with different characters and different settings. Maybe I'm not making any sense here but all I want to say is, all the events that had happened act as a catalyst which would lead me to do something that I will do in the future and it also serve as a reminder why I shouldn't do it again. All I'm saying was, I don't want see what I would eventually do in the future is due to what I do in the past. It'll always be something new that was inspired by what I had done. It's the same but at the same time, it's completely different.

Hey look, I'm talking to an alien. Yes, I believe in alien. That's all I want to say.

Some random quotes and lyrics for the day;

"Well now I'm back at home and-
I’m looking forward to this life I live;
You know it's gonna haunt me,
So hesitation to this life I give."
Brandon Flowers; The Killers; Day and Age; Spaceman; 2008
The Killers - Spaceman

"Images of broken light which
dance before me like a million eyes
That call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a
restless wind inside a letter box
they tumble blindly as
they make their way across the universe "
John Lennon; The Beatles; Let It Be; Across the Universe; 1969
The Beatles - Across the Universe

"I heard the voice
Calling from just outside the well
She said, "You fool, now that you know your end is near
You always fall for what you desire or what you fear!""
Win Butler; Arcade Fire; Neon Bible; The Well And The Lighthouse; 2007
Arcade Fire - The Well And The Lighthouse

Afterwords;
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. "
Robert Frost

Day 10; When It Came to an End. Or so It Seems

Day 10;

Life has it's ending. Civilisation has it's ending. Generation has it's ending. Story has it's ending. My story, I'm about to end it. Albeit forcefully but it is the best solution I could think of. I'm not going to repeat the same sentence for an eternity. It's going to get redundant if I keep doing it. Babbling about how sucks life is for me is not really my favorite thing to do. Thus, I wonder why I keep doing it on and on. I'm having some problem with a small thing called emotions. It's what keeping me insane. Yet, it keeps me sane at the same time.

The easiest way to get rid of it, or at least to fix it is by letting it out or to bury it deeper. Me, I'm having the problem to decide to do which. Either of these two, there's one that is better than the other. I just couldn't figure it out. To let it out means to accept the truth which can either be a happy truth, or a sad truth, whichever comes first. To bury it deep means to be hopeful, but nothing can be hid forever right. So what's the point of keeping it all to myself.

SO, as to make things easier, I've decided to not do anything. Yeah. That's the best solution. To forget something is my forte. Once I forgot it, I won't even be bother anymore. But to forget it doesn't mean to cast it away. If it's there, it was there for a reason. My emotion that is. So, I'll try to ignore what I feel and try to continue living and pretend that nothing has happened. Maybe when the day comes, I'll stop pretending and start living out what I wanted.

p/s anything that I've posted after 3.30 am wont be followed by mood, quote,lyric and song for the day. I'll be too damn lazy to do anything. Please take note. Thanks

Day Nine; Dear, There's A Situation

Day Nine;

"Diskriminasi menjatuhkan aku
Reputasi kini menjadi bisu
Dan aku, ku layu
Disitu

Mengharapkan sesuatu yang baru
Itulah impian aku

Dan bila kau menghilang
Musnahlah, musnah impian
Tuk menggapai bintang
Terangi hidup ku
Ku mahu kau tahu
Engkaulah, destinasiku
Dalam ingatanku... oh oh oh...

Kerana diri ini tak daya lagi
Menempuh hidup yang ku temui
Dan aku, ku tunggu... oh oh oh
Disitu

Mengharapkan sesuatu yang baru
Itulah impian aku

Dan bila kau menghilang
Musnahlah, musnah impian
Tuk menggapai bintang
Terangi hidup ku
Ku mahu kau tahu
Engkaulah, destinasiku
Dalam ingatanku... oh oh oh... "

Bunkface - Situasi
(Words and Songs by Bunkface)

First thing that comes to mind when I'm listening this song, great tunes, but the lyrics, uhh, sounds like someone who's heartbroken. Like seriously, he clearly stated that
"and when you're gone, the dreams to reach for the stars that shines my life are destroyed, I want you to know that you're my destination in my mind"
I guess some lines are better sung in Malay than English. I do agree with what it stated though. When what we seek is already gone, don't u think our dreams, our wish would literally gone with it? So, it's better if we try to achieve what we want or die trying. When we wish for something, there's a reason for it. There's a situation that built up along the course of our life that would lead us to be wanting something. Or someone.

It's funny how life works. We thought things would be alright at one point and then, bam, something came straight towards you and many problems would start to rise. I hate it when that happen. Some problems do have a solution and some don't. And even when there's a solution to it, that doesn't mean it can be solved. To know something and to do it is two different things. At the end of the day, it's about making a choice. I'm not good at it. I never was, am or will be good at it. Why do they even call it dilemma, pfft.

No mood, quote or lyrics for today. I'm sleepy, that's all you need to know.
And dear, there's no situation, just go sleep already.

Day Five; The Partially Inspired World

Day Five;

120 hours. I'm doing fine. Overslept. But what the hell. Let me start off with a verse from Bee Gees' How Deep is Your Love, "cause we're living in a world of fools, breaking us down, when they all should let us be, we belong to you and me". Study these words, I would say. These verses serve as my motto for today. This world we live in, it's not perfect, not even close to it but that's all we have. We can love it, hate it, despise it, celebrate it, not that it really matters. Today, I've realized the fact that how cruel this world can be. Not that anything happened to me or anything but I've seen some footage recorded during wartime, be it during the war in the past or the war that is currently taking place. Death, despair, sadness, misery, cruel are some of the countless words that cant even begin to describe the horror that is war. Why do people have to kill each other just for their own interest. There's a much better solution I think. Who am I to comment on such thing but I have to say it somewhere. And I don't think it's just me, each individual who's normal would describe war as nothing but a malignant act of fools. There's a recorded footage of someone getting shot in the head, execution style. When we saw it in a fictional work, it would be utmost awesome and cool just looking at it. But seeing a real human being, who once was alive, walking, talking, breathing for one moment an then was shot which was follow up by him lying on the floor. Breathless. Motionless. Lifeless. That is something that is hard to be accepted but that's the truth.

Staying at home, doing nothing, I would have never expect that it'll be such a fruitful day for me mentally and emotionally. I feel like I've transcend to an upper level of consciousness. Not that I'm saying that I've changed to someone better or anything but I can see clearly now how the thinly crafted line that divides the world we live in can be confused by us, human being. For once, I can say that it's not a surprising matter that one may feel like ignoring the norm to accomplish their purpose. Or what they thought was their purpose. Killing people, for example is an act of choice. We can choose to kill or to let people live. Clouded by their own mind games, human tend to overlook the the limits they shouldn't cross just to gain their own profits. How ignorant we can be. I'm just a bystander in other's decision. Not that I can intervene or anything but if there's a role I could play in making this world a better place, I would have do so since long ago. And I won't stop looking for it as trying to change the world is not something not to look forward to.

Current mood;
- Anger
- Empathic
- Inspired
- Transcended
- Metaphorical
- Philosophical
- I still miss you

Amidst all these talk about changing the world, it's often said that changing oneself is the first step to change the world. But what if I don't want to change. Would that really a big problem. It can't be denied that for quite some time now, I've been trying to change myself. Looking back at all these things that I've done, I don't really feel the urged to change. Can't I make myself better without changing it. To change oneself is to be someone else. That's why, maybe I'll be someone better but I won't deny what I am and most importantly, what I was. That's why I'm keeping you here. So, from today onwards, I'll move on towards a better day but without leaving anything from the past. You'll be here always in my mind. There won't be a day where my mind is left vacant. I promise that. All the events that have occurred serve as an inspiration for me to keep on living my life without any doubts or worries. Maybe that's what the world need. A thing to inspired itself to keep on going. Going where, let us all decide. What's important is that we leave something to inspire those in the future.

Some random quotes and lyrics for the day;

"It's the same old theme since nineteen-sixteen. In your head, in your head they're still fighting, With their tanks and their bombs, And their bombs and their guns. In your head, in your head, they are dying... " Dolores O'Riordan; The Cranberries; No Need to Argue; Zombie; 1994
The Cranberries - Zombie

"Pick and throw this stone, could it crack the tanks? Could it heal my pain? Could it built back my home? Wish it stops bombing and miss, maltreat the stampede as me I’m tired of flouncing" Lutfi; Interfly; Where's My Damselfly; Plaster (Palestine); 2007
Interfly - Plaster

and as an ode to Mr. Lennon who voices out his opinion;

"Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one"
John Lennon; Imagine; Imagine; 1971

John Lennon - Imagine

"A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. "
John Lennon

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace."
Jimi Hendrix

Day Two; The Gathering

Day Two;

48 hours have passed. What do I feel now? Literally broken and almost in the verge of falling. It may sounds serious, but I do feel that quite often these days. "Where is she? What is she doing? How is she? Did she smile today? Did she fall today?", these questions and many more occupied my mind more often these days, too often perhaps. More than it did before. I often muttered the same question before but not until it haunts me. Right to the point where I can't get my mind off it. Sucks isn't it. I have to live with that very problem. At least until i can finally get over it or found a solution to those problems. Which might take a long time

Current mood;
- Tired
- Exhausted
- Down
- Happy a bit
- Fulfilled
- Lost
- a bit relieved

Mix of emotions; yeap. That's the best word for my list of moods today. I went out with my friends. Well, I go out with them almost every freaking day but today, it was quite different. For once, it was a bigger crowd. How I miss them. Where we went to, it's not that important. What we do, pretty much useless either. But all and all, I'm grateful though. Even if it's only momentarily, I was able to swerve my attention away from my thoughts, my doubts, my source of confusion. So, to sum it all up, the gathering of emotions, the gathering of people, all that occured today, really do affect what I feel. But all that I did today won't really affect what I do tomorrow

Some random quotes and lyrics for the day;

"Taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side and balancing the whole thing.
But often times those words get tangled up in lines and the bright lights turn to night,
until the dawn it brings another day to sing about the magic that was you and me"
Jason Mraz; Waiting For My Rocket to Come; You and I Both; 2002
Jason Mraz - You and I Both

"Didn't understand what to see
Yeah, then I got a different view
It's you...no."
Julian Casablancas; The Strokes; Room On Fire; Automatic Stop; 2003
The Strokes - Automatic Stop

"I wish to see the truth shines brightly in your eyes,
it's even for you, even for me, just try to understand"
Myo; Oh Chentaku; Heartbrake Ridge Was Never This Arrogant; Polaroid; 2008
Oh Chentaku - Polaroid

"The heart unites whatever the mind separates, pushes on beyond the arena of necessity and transmutes the struggle into love."
Nikos Kazantzakis

"The more I try to wake myself up, the more I'm losing myself. Maybe if I dont force it (waking up), I really do lose everything that's important to me."
Myself; just now; talking to Zul

Day One; The Confinement

Day One;

It has been roughly 24 hours since I last contacted her. Nothing seems to happen. Prettt...y strange I wonder. Maybe I've gotten used to it. Maybe some part of me do want to move on. Maybe some part of me don't. I'm not sure myself.

Current mood;
-Despair
-Ignored
-Solitary-seeking
-Down
- :X
- but a bit relieved

The negative emotions that surrounded me might be due to the fact that somewhere deep down inside my heart, it still there. Maybe I really do love her. So, I feel like moving on, letting go of the past. The more I wander in the same ground, the more i'm likely to remain there. So, from today onwards, I'll move. Maybe it's not too late for me to do that. And if the future were to bring me back to the point where I can rejoice myself with her again, I'll be waiting for it.


Some random quotes and lyrics for the day

"You float like a feather, In a beautiful world,
I wish I was special, You're so fuckin' special;"
Thom Yorke; Radiohead; Pablo Honey; Creep; 1994
Radiohead - Creep

"Whimpers someone I should've loved; souls weeping above
I've seen what you're doing to me; destroying puppet strings to our souls"
Matthew Bellamy; Muse; Origin Of Symmetry; Micro Cuts; 2001
Muse - Micro Cuts

"Your foundation is canyoning, Fault lines should be worn with pride
I hate to say it but you're so much more"
Brandon Boyd; Incubus; A Crow Left of the Murder; Talk Shows on Mute; 2004
Incubus - Talk Shows on Mute

"Madness, as you know, is like gravity…all it takes is a little push!"
The Joker (Heath Ledger); The Dark Knight; 2008

"When I let her go, it felt like life itself was slipping through me fingers." John Constantine; Hellblazer; The End of Rake at the Gate of Hell; Garth Ennis

Introduction; The Prologue

2009. It has already begun. A new person, I'll be. I don't know what I want or what I'll be wanting but I'm trying to look forward for it. So, I'm going to rant about my daily life and misadventures in this writing pad.

Yada,yada for about 10 minutes, I know you'll be bored reading all this shit well, yeah, so am I.

That's all about my introduction. I messed things up pretty big, that's why I'm not a big fan of introductory.